Wedding season is in full bloom. Thousands of single women are changing their status on FB, Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn. When they do, will they be happier? According to research by Mintel, a leading market intelligence company, maybe not. And their traditional marriage might be the reason.
For years I saw so many of my girlfriends trade in their carefree and girlish lifestyle to become disappointed or disgruntled wives. Of course, that wasn’t what they expected on their wedding day. Their intention was to get the “happily ever after” they thought was the implied promise of marriage. However, after the kids came and especially if they were still working outside the home, they experienced a new and very different reality.
The matter of happiness was one of my “problems” with traditional marriage. By the time I met Joseph, I’d seen enough of thorny marriages. So, while I really wanted to have a partner in life, and Joseph was the right person, I wasn’t ready to trade-in my hard-won independence for something less.
How could I prevent the disillusioning shift in my marriage, and subsequently my life, that I saw in so many others?
The first step I took was creating a “deciding question” that would be my guide. It was my way of checking in with myself and my feelings. The question I chose then (and still ask myself today) was: “Am I happier now than when I was single?”
When I ask that question, and I answer honestly, I either affirm that I’m on the right track, or if I’m not, I give myself permission to figure out why. Once I do, and because it’s how The Five-Year Marriage works, I bring it up at a family meeting. Joseph and I have a conversation about it. We make adjustments as needed.
Family Meetings are the highway both Joseph and I travel to insure we are getting what we need. They are a two-way street.
Give it a try.
Get quiet and ask yourself: Am I happier now than when I was single? WAIT for the answer. It might come fast or slow. It could surface as a word, or as a feeling, or maybe even an impulse. Pay attention, make some notes, have a family meeting
#FiveYearMarriage, #PartnershipMarriage, #ContractMarriage, #VictoriousWoman, #AreYouHappy